Akatsuki High School Host Club
by Babs McGoogle
Summary: Deidara, Hidan, Itachi, Sasori, and Tobi all end up making a host club. AU
1. First Day of School

This is a crazy idea I just had

This is a crazy idea I just had. Please enjoy…Mwuahahahaha!! Yay, I made an AU!

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The Akatsuki looked at the fancy school in front of them. They were all wearing school uniforms, common looking ones. "Pein, why did you make us join Konoha Gakuen? This is ridiculous!" Hidan was pissed off.

"We can get more money here, and we can learn the enemies' weaknesses." Kakuzu laughed when he heard Pein say money. They heard the bell ring. "It's time to go in."

Deidara looked at where everyone was going to go. Pein had given each one of them a paper that said who goes where:

_Class A: Itachi, Hidan, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi_

_Class B: Pein, Konan, Kisame, Zetsu, Kakuzu_

'That's not nice!' Thought Deidara, 'Pein put me in the same class as annoying Tobi! Well…at least I'm in the same class as Sasori-danna…' He walked into the room named 'Class A'. They sat in the room for about ten minutes. Finally, the teacher walked in. He wore a mask over half of his face, and he looked lazy.

"Sorry I'm late…a black cat crossed my path." An obnoxious voice yelled:

"You always say that!!"

"Now, now, Naruto. You need to stop yelling in the middle of class. By the way, my name's Kakashi. I'm your teacher. Can you each introduce yourselves, now? You first." The teacher made every student introduce themselves. Here's what everyone said:

"Hello, I go by the name of Sai. Please don't bother to use –san or –kun at the end of my name. I hope we can become friends."

"…I'm Shino."

"I am Neji, of the Hyuga clan."

"I'm Kiba, and this is my lil' buddy, Akamaru!"

"I am Sasuke, and I want to kill my brother." He looked over at Itachi.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm gonna' be the next Hokage!" Everyone sighed.

"I'm Shikamaru, and I think this is a drag."

"Hi, I'm Ino! I'm presently single!"

"I'm Sakura, and shut up, Ino!!"

"I'm Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!!" Deidara sighed.

"I'm Itachi, and my brother wants to kill me."

"I'm Hidan, does anyone have a problem with that?!" Complete silence.

"Um, I'm Akasuna no Sasori, call me Sasori."

"I'm Deidara, un!"

After a day of introducing themselves, Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Hidan, and Tobi were waiting for the others to get out of their class. They were going to be late, since Yamato ended up giving a speech about teamwork. They were in a fancy room, with a very valuable vase on a table in it. Tobi jumped to hug Deidara. "Sempai!!" Deidara instinctively dodged. Tobi bumped into the table, and the vase shattered. Immediately, Ino came in.

"You broke the vase!! That was really expensive!!"

"We can't pay money," said Hidan, "then Pein would kill us all." Ino thought for a minute, and then came up with an idea.

"I know! You guys can be a host club!"

"What the hell's a host club?!" (Hidan's clueless, lol)

"It's when girls pay you to hang out with them, stuff. It's the only way you can pay me back, so you'll have to!!" The Akatsuki members sighed. They had no idea what they were going to get into when they joined this school.

--

Mwuahahahaha!! I'm so evil to the Akatsuki!!


	2. The Days Before the Club

Last chapter was just introducing all of them

Last chapter was just introducing all of them. Now is when the story starts!

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Ino was going to be the manager of the host club. They decided it was going to be called 'Akatsuki High School Host Club', because Ino said she watches an anime like that. It was going to take a few days for the club to be actually up and running, so all of the Akatsuki had a few days to themselves. (this part is all in the same day, just in different POVs)

(Deidara's POV)

School is boring and useless. Tobi still bothers me, and I never get to talk to Sasori-danna! My plans have failed…and this Ino girl is really starting to turn into a Tobi kind of person. She always bothers me. I don't like her. She looks too much like me. Whenever she walks with me in the hall (much to my disliking), people always ask if we're twins. When we say we're not, they go off and start spreading rumors. The most common rumors are that we actually are twins, but there's a much more common one. It's my least favorite one. People say that we're dating. I would never! I hate Ino! It's worse than people saying Tobi and I are yaoi! Stupid Ino follows me around like a retarded kitten. The only funny thing about it is that I think Tobi's getting jealous. Tobi and Ino are in a fight over me. I feel like a girl that has two admirers that are fighting. I don't think that things will get any better when the host club starts.

Today, Ino ran up to me in the hall. "Hey, Dei!"

"Don't call me that! Have you heard the rumors?! It's all your fault!"

"Oh, the rumors aren't bad at all!"

"Stupid girl."

"Well, anyways, we need to advertise!"

"Advertise what?"

"The host club, silly! I made posters! We'll post 'em all around the school!"

"Why should I help?"

"More advertising means more money!"

"I' m not money crazy like Kakuzu, un!" But it was too late. She pulled me around the whole school, forcing me to put up posters. The school is really big. By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I wonder how Sasori-danna's day went…he probably had a wonderful day…

(Sasori's POV)

They're following me. Every time I look back, they're there. The fangirls. I can already see it, they are going to be first in line for the host club. Ever since I've been here, there has been fangirls following me. Deidara's lucky, he only has two fans. But I have ninety-nine percent of the girls in the school following me. Pein is angry at me now. Some fangirls are brave and dedicated enough to send stuff to the Akatsuki Hideout. I receive chocolate, letters, and basically everything else. I wonder how they even got the address. Did they follow me all the way back to the hideout?! That's scary.

I saw Deidara walking through the hall, Ino and Tobi were oddly not following him. But as always, the never-sleeping fangirls were following me. It's come to the point when I can just sense when they're there, I don't even need to look back anymore. Deidara started talking to me. "Sasori-danna! I just saw a room! It was a fan club for you!!"

"…I knew it, they made a club."

"You already knew, un?" I decided then was the time to change the subject; I can't let them know I know about them stalking me. Then they would start talking to me! The horror!!

"Deidara! I heard you're dating Ino! Good job!"

"That's a lie! Sasori, do you have a girlfriend yet? I bet she could get rid of the fanclub!"

"Um…" Okay, that got me. If I said yes, the fangirls would hunt down the person I lie about. If I said no, then they might go crazy on me. I'll have to go in the middle of the two. "No, but I like someone." I felt the feeling in the room become full of hate." I don't want to say who, though."

"Oh, okay, un! But I'll bother you about it!" Ino suddenly snatched Deidara away. Oh, great. Now I have to find someone to like. This is going to be hard.

--

I think I like this new idea! I'll write like this for the rest of the story! I just had to make Sasori have stalkers, it's probably what would really happen. I hate DeiIno, so it's not going to turn out like that! Thanks for reading!! Please R&R!


	3. Two Fangirls and a Bunny

Okay, I'm going to add OCs now! Only two though.

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Hidan, Ino, Itachi, Sasori, Tobi, and Deidara were setting up for their host club. It was going to open that day. Tobi suddenly said: "Should Tobi take off his mask, since this is a host club?"

"Yeah!" Ino laughed. Tobi then took off his mask. He surprised everyone, he was actually cute! He looked exactly like Hunny for Ouran High School Host Club, but with brown hair.

"There! Tobi is ready now!"

Deidara walked outside, and then yelled inside: "Hey! There's someone out here, un!" They all went outside and looked at the first and only person in line. She was sleeping in a sleeping bag, and she had a bag next to her. She was wearing the school uniform, a classic sailor uniform. She had long and wavy orange hair. Sasori put his head over the girl's.

"Wake up!" She did wake up. Once she saw Sasori, she smiled, and then kissed him. After she kissed him, she stood up and introduced herself. She was the same height as Sasori.

"I am Marriko Uekusa, in the same grade as you, Sasori-chan! I am the president of the 'Sasori Fan-club', I love you Sasori-chan!! That's why I slept here!" She reached into the bag and took out a frilly pink umbrella, opened it, and held it over herself. "What time is it?"

Ino answered: "It's 8:35 a.m., and the host club opens at 9:00 a.m."

"Really? Then I'll wait here."

Hidan was pissed off by the classy girl. "If you're here, why don't you fucking help us?!"

Ino tried to calm Hidan down. "Hidan, we're done setting up, anyways."

All of the sudden, someone ran to them. She had long pink hair, and she was short. But she was still a little taller than Tobi.

"Hello, I am Yotsuba Yukarina, I love Tobi! I came here for Tobi and Tobi only!" She looked at the taller person in front of her, Marriko. "Oh, I'm second in line?"

Marriko came down to Yotsuba's height. "Have you seen my club anywhere?"

"Yeah, they were walking here. But I ran, so I passed them!" Then everyone else came. All the fan girls came, not just Sasori's fans. There were girls that just wanted to be with a pretty boy. The host club members and their manager walked inside.

Ino was excited. "Did you see how many people were out there?! This is so awesome!" Sasori sighed; he knew half of the girls out there were for him.

Tobi looked at the clock. "Everybody! It's time to start!" Everyone except for Ino and Tobi looked like they had just seen a ghost. Ino opened the doors, and started letting people get hosts. Marriko ran to Sasori.

"Finally, I will be able to see beautiful Sasori all the time!"

"I thought that was already true." Sasori said.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

"N-no…"

Yotsuba ran to Tobi. "Hi, Tobi-chan! I have a present for you!" She handed him a pink bunny stuffed animal. "His name is Usagi-chan!"

Tobi's eyes glittered. "Thank you, Yotsuba-chan! He's so cute!!" Tobi hugged the bunny. "I have a nickname for you! It's Kekkou, it means nice in Japanese! 'Cause you're so nice!"

"Tobi-chan, can I call you Aisoku, it means cute boy in Japanese! You're cute!" Deidara envied Tobi, for once, as he watched from the distance.

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Who would know that Tobi has fangirls?! Please R&R!


End file.
